She
closes the window and comes away. After a moment's pause she goes
deliberately and looks at the several gas fixtures in the room. She then
closes all the doors and locks them. She carefully draws down the shade
and closes in the curtains of the window. She hesitates, then pulls
aside the curtains and the shade, and takes a long, last look at the
dawn. She closes it all in again. She gets Austin's picture from the
desk and places it on the table near the centre of the room. She then
goes to the gas bracket at the Right and turns on the gas. She lights it
to see if the gas is all right; then blows it out. She then crosses to
the other bracket and turns that on; she goes to the chandelier at
centre, and, mounting a chair, turns on its three jets. She then sits
down by the table with AUSTIN'S picture before her, and looking into its
eyes, her elbows on the table, her head in her hands, she waits._] Oh,
Jack, my beloved! I couldn't help it--I never for one minute stopped
loving you better than everything else in my life, but no more than I
could stop loving you could I stop or help being jealous! Once the cruel
idea has got hold of me it seems to _have_ to work its way out!
Everything gets red before me and I don't seem to know what I say or do!
It's no excuse, I know.
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