Then, when the other fellow, the critic, the cynic, the Shimei, who has
been quiet, letting self-love and self-glorification have their perfect
work, opens fire upon the first half of our personality and overwhelms it
with that wonderful vocabulary of abuse of which he is the unrivalled
master, there is no denying that he enjoys it immensely; and as he is
ourself for the moment, or at least the chief portion of ourself (the
other half-self retiring into a dim corner of semiconsciousness and
cowering under the storm of sneers and contumely,--you follow me
perfectly, Beloved,--the way is as plain as the path of the babe to the
maternal fount), as, I say, the abusive fellow is the chief part of us
for the time, and he likes to exercise his slanderous vocabulary, we on
the whole enjoy a brief season of self-depreciation and self-scolding
very heartily.
It is quite certain that both of us, the Master and myself, conceived on
the instant a respect for the Scarabee which we had not before felt. He
had grappled with one difficulty at any rate and mastered it. He had
settled one thing, at least, so it appeared, in such a way that it was
not to be brought up again. And now he was determined, if it cost him
the effort of all his remaining days, to close another discussion and put
forever to rest the anxious doubts about the larva of meloe.
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