How thankful I was! I lit a fire, and was grateful for
its warmth and company. I made myself some tea and ate two of my
biscuits: my brandy I did not touch, for I had little left, and might
want it when my courage failed me. All that I did, I did almost
mechanically, for I could not realise my situation to myself, beyond
knowing that I was alone, and that return through the chasm which I had
just descended would be impossible. It is a dreadful feeling that of
being cut off from all one's kind. I was still full of hope, and built
golden castles for myself as soon as I was warmed with food and fire; but
I do not believe that any man could long retain his reason in such
solitude, unless he had the companionship of animals. One begins
doubting one's own identity.
I remember deriving comfort even from the sight of my blankets, and the
sound of my watch ticking--things which seemed to link me to other
people; but the screaming of the wood-hens frightened me, as also a
chattering bird which I had never heard before, and which seemed to laugh
at me; though I soon got used to it, and before long could fancy that it
was many years since I had first heard it.
I took off my clothes, and wrapped my inside blanket about me, till my
things were dry.
Pages:
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55