God gave you to
me--and oh! how thankful I have been every day of my life for that
sacred gift--and nothing can ever come between me and God's gift. I
cannot hurt you, and I cannot let you stay hurt as you have been--not
another instant after you wake up, my darling boy! It is beyond my
power. And Eugene was right--I know you couldn't change about this.
Your suffering shows how deep-seated the feeling is within you. So
I've written him just about what I think you would like me to--though
I told him I would always be fond of him and always his best friend,
and I hoped his dearest friend. He'll understand about not seeing
him. He'll understand that, though I didn't say it in so many words.
You mustn't trouble about that--he'll understand. Good-night, my
darling, my beloved, my beloved! You mustn't be troubled. I think I
shouldn't mind anything very much so long as I have you "all to
myself"--as people say--to make up for your long years away from me at
college. We'll talk of what's best to do in the morning, shan't we?
And for all this pain you'll forgive your loving and devoted mother.
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