One Five o' Clock Close every week is our plea, BOB,
Not much for the slaves of scrape-scrape and snip-snip!
The fairness of it I'm convinced you will see, BOB,
And so should the world, says
CARACTACUS CLIP.
[_Mr. Punch_, who knows how much his own personal comfort is
dependent upon the adroit ministrations of the "Sons of
the Shears," cordially seconds the appeal of his old
Correspondent.]
* * * * *
A CASE OF FRENCH LEAVE.--The Gallic Fleet have gone to Cherbourg--as
if they had not had enough "cheers" before leaving England!
* * * * *
[Illustration: DIFFERENCE OF OPINION.
_Jones_ (_reading aloud_). "'A TRUE, GOOD, NOBLE WOMAN IS EVER READY
TO MAKE HERSELF A DOOR-MAT FOR THE MAN SHE LOVES!'... AH, DOLLY,
_THOSE_ ARE THE WOMEN WHO MAKE THE BEST WIVES!"
_Mrs. J._ (_who is not of this type_). "YES, DEAR--AND THE _WORST
HUSBANDS!_"]
* * * * *
MR. PUNCH'S ANTI-LABOUR CONGRESS.
_MR. PUNCH (IN A MARINE LOTOS-LAND) SINGS HIS SEA-SIDE VERSION OF THE
LAUREATE'S LOVELY "CHORIC SONG."_
I.
There is a slumber here that softlier falls
Than forty-winks where dull, dull Bills they pass;
Oft have I drowsed within those dreary walls,
Where brays the pertinacious party ass.
Here sleep more gently on the spirit lies
Than where the SPEAKER tells the Noes and Ayes.
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