A few minutes later, as I came in
again with fresh rollers, I saw John sitting erect, with no one to
support him, while the surgeon dressed his back. I had never
hitherto seen it done; for, having simpler wounds to attend to, and
knowing the fidelity of the attendant, I had left John to him,
thinking it might be more agreeable and safe; for both strength and
experience were needed in his case. I had forgotten that the strong
man might long for the gentler tendance of a woman's hands, the
sympathetic magnetism of a woman's presence, as well as the feebler
souls about him. The Doctor's words caused me to reproach myself
with neglect, not of any real duty perhaps, but of those little
cares and kindnesses that solace homesick spirits, and make the
heavy hours pass easier. John looked lonely and forsaken just then,
as he sat with bent head, hands folded on his knee, and no outward
sign of suffering, till, looking nearer, I saw great tears roll down
and drop upon the floor. It was a new sight there; for though I had
seen many suffer, some swore, some groaned, most endured silently,
but none wept. Yet it did not seem weak, only very touching, and
straightway my fear vanished, my heart opened wide and took him in,
as, gathering the bent head in my arms, as freely as if he had been
a little child, I said,--"Let me help you bear it, John."
Never, on any human countenance, have I seen so swift and beautiful
a look of gratitude, surprise, and comfort, as that which answered
me more eloquently than the whispered,--
"Thank you ma'am; this is right good! this is what I wanted!"
"Then why not ask for it before?"
"I didn't like to be a trouble; you seemed so busy, and I could
manage to get on alone.
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