I shall demand leave of absence this very day and hand in my
resignation. We shall probably not see each other again. Forgive me if
I have grieved you. I intended no ill."
A sarcastic laugh -
"Oh, come! intended no ill! Say that to Satan when you stand before the
everlasting fire. If you want to go, then, go right off too. - And God
have mercy on your soul."
Then I thought it time to end the torture. I packed up some clothes,
regulated my affairs at the legation and was in E------ that same
afternoon. I had wired: "I am coming for good." And, sobbing and
laughing, Elsje embraced me at the station before the eyes of the
officials. It was the first time in public.
"There is as much reason for crying as for laughing, Elsje!" said I. "I
haven't brought along much money."
"Oh, we need so little and I can manage so well. And you are so good
and so clever, you will surely be able to earn money again."
"And we cannot be lawfully married either. Lucia will never give in to
that."
"That's nothing," said Elsje, "if only the world may know of it.
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